COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING
Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space, these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking.
Their saliva is an antiseptic, their urine smells like buttered popcorn, and their crystals infuse wearers with self-confidence. Introducing Tiger's Eye Gazing. Put on these tiger's eye-inspired lenses and you'll have the inner strength to accomplish anything. And if your buds have any open wounds or unbuttered popcorn, you've got bodily fluids to help them out. (When you do, they'll say, "Thanks, tiger.")