We now pronounce you Hopefully Ever After!!! Awww, marriage. A (semi) sacred union where you (partially) commit to someone 'til death (or divorce) do you part, while looking stunning (in an outfit you'll never wear again) in front of your (bored, jealous or drunk) loved ones, it is truly a (semi) magical moment you will remember (mostly) fondly for (part of) your whole life! (Free exchange if you get divorced! J/K, you're one of the 50% that's going to make it...hopefully.)
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.
INTRODUCING THANKS, IT'S A RENTAL.
It's the happiest day of your life. That's why you opted to rent that penguin suit instead of buying your own. Nothing says true love like marinating in the juju of blood, sweat, and angst of the 40 grooms who wore it before you. Sure, "Give No Fux Tuxes" claims to have cleaned it. But those fuzzy green blobs in your pocket say otherwise. Are those leftover cheese cubes from a previous wedding?!?! Eww. Well, at least we can guarantee no one has previously worn these Thanks, It's a Rental sunnies.